After The Party

The party is over and tiredness setting in. Let me be the last thing you see before slumber finally hits and the first thing you want when you awaken.

 

Would You Care To Join Me

There used to be a time when on the Saturday before Christmas I would be preparing to embark on one of the most looked forward to parties in our calendar year. The swingers club we regularly went to had their annual Christmas party/Masked Ball and was the main occasion for me to dress up in a dinner jacket. It was a fun and fairly formal affair but never over the top. I dusted out the jacket as I've not worn it now for 10 years and hopefully the result is pleasing.

Check out the other sinners 

Time

In the words of Simon & Garfunkel and The Bangles - Time time time, what has become of me? - Lyrics from Hazy Shade of Winter and yes I prefer the Bangles version 😜

The two pictures are almost a year apart, the first being 20 December 2020 and the second being 12 December 2021. Not all changes are physical, but when they are they can be subtle.

Sin away and see what others have created

Dreams

Ever wake up from a dream and wonder if it really was a dream or more a memory of a time gone by?

I woke up Monday  morning and by all accounts hoped it wasn't just a dream I'd had, but alas it was not to be. It was vivid enough that I know it was partly a dream and also my body reminding me of things I miss. My dream cycle will continue to become more vivid and intense when I'm tired and physically exhausted, which sums up my weekend just gone. I helped a friend move to a new flat on Saturday which meant I was on my feet, up and down stairs lugging boxes and building furniture from 9am to 7pm. A long day followed by some down time in the pub.

Combine the tiredness with my seasonal feeling of loneliness through lack of a partner and also incredibly horny and you have the perfect cocktail for erotic dreams/memories. I'm trying my best to find myself a partner/playmate or whatever you want to call it but it's an uphill struggle.

The dream was not particularly unusual in itself but the empty/lost feeling it left me with was unsettling. It made me long to cuddle up to someone under a blanket, playful teasing and hugs. The comfort of waking up to someone beside me, spooning up to them and wrapping my arms around them. Slow teasing of rubbing against each other before a leisurely lazy fuck, just enjoying the moment unhurried.

Alas this is just part of what I want but it's the part my body and mind are craving for. To connect with someone and have them reciprocate that feeling. I wonder if my body and mind are telling me I want to much and should be happy with what I can get. Someone said to me stop looking for Miss Right and find Miss Right Now but even that is proving to be difficult.

Colour Splash - Plug Away

When the prompt for December appeared I was pleased as I had several pictures that I'd taken previously that I hadn't used. The hardest decision was which one. Both feature colourful items but one has a more striking colour but I quickly realised it overpowers the image so I opted for the more subtle one.

I may still use the other one another time or I may redo it. Sinful Sunday has pushed me to be more creative with my personal photos and has also been very therapeutic at times.

The Storyteller

Gather round I have a tale to tell.

In the not so distant past there was someone who overcame their shyness and gathered up the courage to be more confident. They pushed themselves to do this as they had decided to embrace the world of swinging. For several years this was great, they had a fulfilling life, with plenty of friends and a very active sex life.

One day events took place that bought their world crashing to the ground. They dusted themselves off, pushed through the pain and actually became slightly more confident but the shyness was creeping back in. However this only lasted for a couple of years before things began to falter and the confidence dwindled. Eventually they had almost reverted to their former self with one major difference, they were now on their own.

After several years in the wilderness they started taking steps to build themselves back up. Only small steps to build confidence and overcome the shyness but everyone has to start somewhere. The journey continues to this day and at times they may be vocal about their failure to progress or go quiet when they see people they've tried to flirt with having fun. Generally they spend a lot of time wondering how to find a friend with benefits, a kinky date or just playmates for some good banter and sexy times. They feel hopelessly lost at times but know there are others who make them smile and encourage them to continue.

Yes this person is me. I had the idea come to me as I roused from sleep the other morning and even then I've struggled to put the words down effectively. I'm a work in progress and still learning to love myself so someone can love me.

 

Hiding behind the curtain for all to see

Sometimes I feel like hiding away behind a curtain as I struggle with trying to find kink and companionship in dating. I don't like hiding but being accepted is not easy to achieve and I wonder if I'll every find someone again without having to resort back to vanilla.

Come sin with the rest of us

It Started With A (Gang)Bang

Due to everything going on in my life of late I hadn't kept track of some of the memes I've participated in before. It was only when I saw a post from @ht_honey on Twitter that I became aware of the current Kink of the Week. The theme promotes mixed emotions as it reminds me of a time when I had a relationship, a sex life and a lot of casual fun. Deciding what to write about was difficult as I've been involved in all facets from participation to organising and promoting them. Eventually I decided to start at the beginning so read, enjoy and ask questions.

And so it began, not with a whimper but a bang, to be precise a gangbang. After weeks of communication via phone call, emails and texts, the time and location had been set and invitations had been issued. Outfits had been chosen and we were finally headed to our first gangbang, myself as an onlooker/participant and my wife as one of two girls who were the focus of the event.

The drive round the M25 to Sutton in South London was uneventful, but despite leaving with plenty of time to spare we just about made it on time. I dropped my wife off at the venue as I had to find somewhere to park. Upon entering the house I was greeted by the host and ushered into a side room to meet the other participant. I was then handed a drink and told it would help calm my nerves. Up until this point I thought I was calm but the shaking leg as I sat down betrayed me. Next I was shown to the room where a dozen guys were waiting and much to my shock I was introduced as the husband of one of the gangbang girls.

After 5 minutes the girls entered the room hand in hand and climbed onto a makeshift platform in the centre of the room. They were both introduced and the fun and games begin. Unlike the gangbang videos you see on various streaming sites most of the guys were still dressed or at the most shirtless. The girls started the proceedings by kissing and fondling each other eventually removing clothing from each other. Looking around the room I noticed some of the guys were starting to get undressed and others were making their way to the girls. Soon each girl was garnering attention from multiple men with hands wandering all over, mouths sucking on breasts and cocks waiting to be sucked or played with.

For the next 2 hours the girls sucked, wanked, teased and were fucked by most of the cocks in the room. There was a 10 minute break midway through to allow the girls to freshen up, it was at this point I checked in on them to see they were ok and they assured me everything was fine and they were enjoying themselves. At various points they were both on all fours with a cock in each hand, sucking on a third and fucked by a fourth. Nearing the end of the fun both girls were laid on their backs and delivered numerous deposits of cum onto their bodies for all their hard work. Despite everything I was still nervous but managed to fondle both girls. Most of the guys there had taken their time to chat with me and comment on how lucky I was to have such a sexy wife.

As the guys left I chatted with the host and the other girl who told me that her husband was exactly the same way as me at his first one. She assured me it would get easier and I would become more confident at joining in. Looking back it was her kind words that allowed us to continue with the gangbangs/greedy girl parties for the next couple of years, with me in various roles from driver to organiser to participant and many things needed in between.

This is just another event that has made me the person I am now. I do not have any regrets as they were happier times for me. If I could find the right partner I would do them again as there is a certain thrill and satisfaction knowing that your partner is sexual enough to want to try multiple playmates but ultimately comes back to you.

Blurred Vision - Sinful Sunday

Wasn't sure I'd get a chance to do a pic and some of my ideas weren't doable due to time constraints as I rarely get an empty house or requiring assistance which I'm lacking at the moment. I plan to experiment more with this and try the other ideas I have.

Tenga Easy Beat Egg Wavy Cool Edition - Review and Comparison

In my job I occasionally have to test products and provide feedback on them. Never have I done a product review until now and if all goes well this will be the first of many.

Back in 2019 I received my first ever masturbator in the form of an Easy Beat Egg Wavy Cool Edition from Tenga. At the time I tried it out but never put my thoughts down into a review despite considering it many times. Recently I received another Tenga Egg but this time it was a Wavy II Cool Edition. What has changed?

Inspecting the outer packaging and labelling shows some minor changes to the layout of the wording but the background design gives more of a hint. Previously it showed waves with every other row being slightly thicker than the one in between whereas now that thick line is thicker and there is also vertical line spiralling down. Fairly bold changes but do they translate to change of the actual product?

Upon opening them both up I can confirm that the design changes are both external and internal. The pattern change confers to the internal texture of the egg. No other changes are apparent.

Both eggs come with instructions and 1 sachet of cool lotion placed inside a plastic insert to maintain the eggs shape and stability before use. The insert, instructions and sachet of lotion are standard in all the Tenga products I have purchased so far.

Use of the eggs is fairly straightforward, remove insert, squeeze lotion inside and then slide over penis to desired stretch. The sensation from each is slightly different due to the different textures with the added cooling sensation from the cool lotion.

Overall these are good products and highly recommended whether it's as a first time user, convenient toy for those work related hotel stays, experienced user or even something for a teasing session between a couple.

To view the variety of eggs and other fantastic pleasure toys from Tenga visit the below regional links

Tenga Store UK

USA Tenga Store

Tenga Store Europe

Feel free to comment on this post if you liked the review, found it helpful or additional details that would help. This is my first review and time permitting I would like to do more to help people find the toys to enhance their play and pleasure.

Reflecting - Sinful Sunday

It's been just over 2 months since I last participated in a Sinful Sunday due to varying factors. The past few months have been mentally draining and I lost the inclination or drive to do anything creative. Today I pushed myself to do something and ultimately reflect on what I can do rather than tell myself I can't.

My Holiday And Beyond

So back at the end of August I lost the creative buzz I was exploring due to events at the time and since. I had lots of ideas and things I'd planned to do but have failed to do any of them due to this block. I'm hoping that by listing the things that have happened along with the things I'd planned to do I'll find some way back.

The last full week in August I took some much needed holiday time away from home and my first time on my own with nobody else with me. Plans were simple, meet up with a couple of people, explore the surrounding towns and just generally get out and about with my camera. Unfortunately those plans derailed the first evening and have set the tone of my mood since.

After a wonderful afternoon wandering the streets of Nottingham, drinking coffee and chatting with a twitter friend I headed to the hotel where I was staying. And so begins the derailment.

I'd only gone a few miles before I got stuck in very slow/non moving traffic due to a heavy rain storm passing through the area I was headed, this added 45 minutes onto my journey effectively doubling the time it should have taken. The storm had further consequences to my holiday unknown to me at the time but would soon make become clear.

Eventually I made it to the hotel and into my room. Due to the weather my plans for eating in the hotel were scuppered and so I had to go to the McDonalds situated just a short walk away. Before heading to eat I received a text message from the friend I was meeting the next day asking if I'd be able to help her out with a trip to urgent care as she'd slipped over in the rain earlier, managed to put her arm out to slow her fall but had landed on it awkwardly and was in some pain.

I quickly went off to get food before heading to my friend. Whilst eating my food I received a phone call from my son to let me know that one of the cats wasn't well and asking about the vet details, shortly after this I get a text saying the vet is out of hours and they are heading to the emergency vet services with the cat. Finally I finish my food and head to my friend who up until this point I've only spoken with on the phone as the plan was originally meet up for coffee on the Monday morning and then decide the day from there.

I pick my friend up and we head off to the urgent care and find they can't do x-rays after 5pm. We decide it's better to wait until the morning rather than spend a Sunday evening in A&E so we headed back and watched a film. While watching the film I received a phone call letting me know the cat was not doing well and I would need to decide on the best course of treatment, my neighbour who works at the emergency vet took over the call and filled me in on the details as to what had been happening and to wait a call from the vet who had been treating her. In one big turnaround I go from being the help and support to my friend to being the one needing the emotional support. Sadly I had to make the decision to put the cat to sleep as she really was unwell.

And so day 1 of my holiday drew to a close and other than the trip to Nottingham nothing had gone to plan. However I did get to spend some time with my friend getting to know her which was nice. Day 2 was less dramatic with most of it spent at the urgent care centre with my friend getting assessed, x-rays and finally a cast put on her arm as she had fractured it when she fell in the rain. The remainder of the day was spent watching some more films together and just ensuring my friend was comfortable.

Day 3 I took my friend into work for her shift at the Costa she worked in. It was a fairly uneventful day and I wandered around the local town whilst she worked or at least attempted to as best she could with her arm in a cast. I popped into the Costa for my lunch to see how she was doing and it was frustrating watching her struggle because the manager had insisted she come into work. When her shift was finished we headed back to hers and spent a third evening watching films together. After our final evening together we decided that we liked each other but there was no spark to pursue a relationship. I think that with everything that had gone on I was more concerned about making sure she was ok than anything else. We still chat everyday via Whatsapp and we've said we'll meet up again when I'm back in that part of the country.

The remainder of my holiday was spent wandering along the river of a local town and a canal as well. Although I managed to take pictures of the wildlife and landscape I was distracted by the events of the past few days and wasn't feeling particularly creative anymore.

Since my holiday I have bumbled my way through day to day things due to the onslaught of life catching up and knocking me for six at every opportunity. Anything from my father's myeloma flaring up, his parkinsons getting worse, my son becoming unemployed (what little time I had to myself working from home is now non-existent unless I take myself to my bedroom for peace and quiet), yet another let down and ghosting on an online dating app and finally catching up with an old friend after 27 years to discover her health is not great.

Overall I just feel helpless and completely unfocussed. I've tried to continue with planned projects (more creativity with my pics especially those for various meme blogs and also writing a product review for a Tenga product) but to no avail. The only thing I've managed was to take my friend out for a long afternoon at a seafront we used to go to back in our late teens/early twenties.

This is the first successful attempt at writing of any sort for seven weeks now. Whether it's because I'm writing on something I've experienced or going through, and despite the words flowing steadily I don't know if it's good, bad or indifferent. I want to get back to how I was during the summer but not sure when that will happen. I struggle to push my creativity at the best of times but this time I'm feeling slightly lost without it.

Vulnerable - Still

So almost 2 years ago I entered a pic into Sinful Sunday entitled "Vulnerability" and received a lot of supportive comments. I recently started feeling the same again and reviewed the post, it was short and to the point of how I was at the time.

This time that vulnerability is a mix of things as well as the same dread of dating. Some are recent events that I've played a major part in and have been self destructive. I've lost someone I considered a good friend by becoming obsessed with a scenario in my mind, and know I have only myself to blame. If I could turn back time and correct my heinous mistake I would, but I can't and know I have to live with it, learn and move on. Others are the continued failure to connect with someone for dating or casual fun, not getting responses to intro emails or past a conversation.

However, the final vulnerability is one I've opened up myself. I realise that I needed to overcome some issues and find myself. To achieve this I've had to push hard and allow myself be vulnerable by trying new things and test my photography skills with brutal honesty in both my skills and self critique but also allow others to critique my photos as well. To this end I'm trying to blog more, take more pics and actively be part of a community if they'll accept me.

I had an idea to try and capture my vulnerability but afterwards it dawned on me that the most accurate take is a standard non-posed picture as we are most vulnerable in everyday situations. However everyday situations do not capture how I feel so here is the picture that succeeds in doing that.

I Am Who I Am

" I am what I am

And what I am needs no excuses" - La Cage Aux Folles

The above is taken from a song that was made famous by Gloria Gaynor. It's quite a common misheard lyric as the title of this post is how I heard it in my head the other morning whilst washing up with the radio on.

I Am Who I Am

I am complex

I am awkward

I am shy

I am talkative

I am caring

I am passionate

I am kinky

I am all of the above and more

I feel lonely at times

I try too hard to fit in

I find it hard to make friends

I unintentionally ruin the good things

I put off doing things just because

I hold back my frustration too long

I become emotional very easily

I am all of the above and more

I am the one who is quiet

I am the one who is small

I am the one who keeps to themselves at parties

I am the one everybody relies on

I am the one who just listens

I am the one who tells you you're special

I am the one who craves to be desired

I am all of the above and more

I am who I am

Without the above I would not be me

KOTW Hotel Rooms - Room Service +

When the tweet went out for the latest Kink of the Week I was happy. It was a subject I could write about but which one was the question. Would it be the time my ex and I had a single male who we knew well spend the night with us in a hotel in Birmingham? Maybe the time after the swingers club in Birmingham where we ended up with six of us in the room? Maybe the time I was just the photographer/videographer for the three girls in a cramped hotel room in London? No these were shared experiences which although good have somewhat tainted memories now. I had to draw on my own personal experiences of which two sprang to mind. My first time with another couple from Twitter with me being the extra male was good, but the memory is vague.

The filmed but unscripted maid encounter for use on a couple of adult sites wins outright for a new enjoyable experience. I still have the full unedited video and also the short clips which were used on the sites.

Room Service +

I entered the hotel room looking to freshen up from a busy morning. What I didn't expect was to discover the maid busy making the bed. Ordinarily this wouldn't be an issue but it was late afternoon, I was looking forward to a nap and I was not expecting her to be there. She was apologetic and admitted she was behind on her duties. Smiling at her I said that was fine and let her continue to work on the bed.

While she continued making the bed I could not take my eyes off her. Her constant wiggling and adjusting of her skirt was distracting enough, but the flashing of underwear was something else and very deliberate. As I approached the bed she looked up and asked if there was anything else she could help with. I was taken aback by this brazen question but taking a chance I asked if there were other services she provided.

Coming round to my side of the bed, she bent over and continued to adjust the sheets. I could not resist placing my hands on her scantily clad buttocks and squeezing them gently, she looks over her shoulder and says "My you're very hands on" but offers no resistance. Instead she forces herself back and starts to grind against my crotch. The grinding continues as she presses hard and says she can feel my cock getting harder.

Turning round she grabbed the waist of my trousers and pulled me towards her. She started to undo my belt and with a voracious grin said "We call this Room Service Plus". With a few quick movements she had undone my belt, trousers and lowered my boxers to reveal her work so far. Taking hold of my cock in one hand she licked the tip, sending shivers through me before enveloping it with her luscious red lips. After several minutes of teasing with tongue and mouth, she knelt up and kissed me whilst still holding my cock in her hands.

Not wanting this to be selfish and one-sided I moved my hand between her legs with every intention of teasing her like she was teasing me. I let out a gasp of surprise as my hand found the bulge of a rather hard cock instead of the expected mound of a pussy. The gasp did not go unnoticed so I told her she was full of good surprises. Undeterred I wrapped my hand around her pantie covered cock and teased her just how she was teasing me. After several minutes of kissing and teasing she pulled away and suggested I get more comfortable and take my clothes off.

After removing my clothes, including my socks as I'm not a heathen I made my way to the bed. Before I could climb on she rolled over onto her front and took my cock in her mouth and resumed sucking with more passion and abandon than before. Our inhibitions were falling away as we started to enjoy the moment. She eventually stopped and lay back showing me her excited nipples and slightly intimidating cock which was larger than mine. I lay down beside her and took hold of her exposed cock and slowly worked my hand up and down the shaft. She commented on my good technique but I just replied "It's just practice from being on my own for many years". I then asked if she would like the same treatment she'd provided to me so far before sliding my mouth over her cock. Up until now I had never sucked another cock but knew it would not be the last.

All the while I sucked on her cock she offered guiding words of encouragement, like when to suck harder, when to use my tongue and when to ease off. She then asked me to suck on her tits, which were barely engorged nipples but I was having too much fun to care so did as she asked. I did this for several minutes hearing her moans of pleasure whilst maintaining a slow steady hand movement on her cock.

Her attention shortly returned to me and she proceed to lick the head of my cock savouring the pre-cum that had built up. Then her tongue proceeded to lick up and down my shaft making me twitch at the sensation before she stopped and said "Would you like to fuck me?" and proceeded to turn round and kneel on all fours. Unable to resist I pull her panties to one side and started to lick between her cheeks and rim her hole with my tongue ensuring it gained plenty of lubrication. Soon this was enough and I started to fuck her ass slowly at first but increasing rhythm as her moans of pleasure got louder.

After several minutes of doggy style she rolled onto her back to get a bit more comfortable. This created the opportunity for me to not only remove her panties and continue to fuck her but also play with her beautiful cock at the same time. As much as I enjoyed doing both she took control of her cock to enable me to concentrate on fucking her harder. Alternating between deep slow strokes and quick hard ones we were soon close to orgasm. She realised I was close and got herself back on all fours presenting her ass and telling me to cum there which I did with pleasure.

This was my first attempt at erotica based on a real life event. Let me know what you think.

Enjoying Nature (Au Naturelle)

After a few busy weeks where I've not been able to get out for a walk after work due to weather, mood, shopping or dad taxi I was missing the countryside.

This week I managed to get out twice and felt all the better for it. I have always enjoyed being out in the wild and I find it mentally relaxing when I most need it. And oh boy did I need it, as the pressure of working on several interlinked projects was taking it's toll.

For my second walk of the week I opted for one of the routes that has some secluded spots hoping to get some pictures and enjoy that exhibitionist/naturist streak I have. Taking inspiration from some of the excellent nature shots on last weeks themed Sinful Sunday, I found a quiet spot that allowed a view of the main path without drawing attention to what I was doing.

Shortly after I'd stopped taking pics 3 people walked along the main path and not one of them spotted me in a semi dressed state 😀

As Yet Untitled

I found the prompt "Extreme Angle" for Sinful Sunday a creative challenge that actually got me starting to enjoy my photography again. After a near two year lull where I hardly thought about the picture being taken I had a focus. I enjoyed thinking of the shot and composition and it was just another step on the road to regaining my confidence and finding out who I am.

I took many different shots in different poses. Some were good and some weren't, choosing one I truly liked was hard but hopefully this captures the essence of the prompt. Sadly a good caption eludes me.

I'm Only Human (And At Times I'm Damn Ugly)

I first started this post on 17th July 2021 and I was unsure if I would ever publish it but here it is in all it's entirety.

I don't have a lot of close friends because I keep myself guarded at times. Maybe it stems from school days when those I thought were friends used me, bullied me or put me in a bin head first. It could be because of the things that happened during my marriage. Whatever the reason it does not excuse my behaviour at times.

Over the years I've made mistakes through being over-eager, not listening and letting my imagination run wild. This has led me to crossing a line, sometimes forgivable, sometimes unforgivable and even recently I lost a friendship because of it. I'll hold my hands up and admit I'm wrong, but my downfall is the need to make up for my sins and redeem myself even when I know I won't be forgiven and shouldn't push the issue. Sometimes it will manifest in simple acts like being supportive even when it's not really needed to self deprecation/loathing and effectively forcing the person to push me away/block me or just cease contact. I know it's wrong but I can't help myself.

This is my ugly side, I'm not proud of it and I sure as hell don't like it. Maybe I'll stop ruining some of the goods things that come my way but then maybe I'm destined to continue on the path of ruination and loathing.

Throughout all this I reflect on what I've done and try not to make the same mistakes. Sometimes moving forward isn't easy but I know it has to be done. I have to think that I will improve and find someone that can deal with my quirks, mannerisms, stupidity, stubbornness and just plain dogged determination to try and do the right thing. Most of all I have to learn to love myself before I can let someone love me.

I Want (To Break Free)

 "I Want to Break Free" - Queen 1984

I took inspiration not only from the video but the words as well. I know I have to break free of what's holding me back and to do that I have to start believing in myself. To this end I will start to say "I can do it" more and try things instead of holding myself back. My aim is to gain the confidence I used to have.

Little Steps and Experimentation

So I've been technically separated for 7 years and actually separated from my ex for 5 years. Divorce has never been talked about but it will happen, ties that bound us together have changed and she's reverted to her maiden name.

In all of those 7 years I've tried to do the right thing and always put family first. Because of this I've watched my son finish college, get a job he's happy in and move his girlfriend in. I've watched my daughter finish school, college and embark on her first year at university during a pandemic. I even became the main support bubble for my ex, helping with shopping (I'm the one with a car and she hates driving), helping with some diy and large flatpack units, driving her to hospital appointments for frozen shoulder and even some gardening.

During the last 18 months I've worked from home, spent 4 months on furlough (reduced wage funded by government but not able to work), spent a further 4 months working from home part-time and still working from home to this day.

The one thing I rarely did was make time for myself, partly because I never have an empty house and partly I didn't realise how much I needed it. If I look back 10 - 12 years I was shy but confident with my body. I've been a swinger, went to a club regularly as part of a couple, regularly in chat rooms on a swingers site, had a 3-some on camera to an audience of roughly 80 people, the list goes on but I always felt comfortable with my body.

A few years back I tried to get back into swinging which is not easy as a single male but my confidence was gone so I gave up. It was like I'd reverted to the unconfident person I was in my early 20's. I still struggle today with my confidence but following conversations with various people I've decided to try and liberate myself by taking little steps to rebuild my confidence and also experiment to see what kinks I may be inclined to give a chance.

The first step was to get outside my comfort zone which I did and the result was gags 

My second step was to get outside my comfort zone and show my body which the result is below

I'll continue to push myself, step out of my comfort zone, participate more and hopefully gain some of that lost confidence

While I remember I consciously did something for myself 2 years ago by getting a PA (Prince Albert) piercing and over the past few months embarked on the process of going from a 10g to a 2g bar/ring/horseshoe. I trying to think of ways to incorporate them into my pics the right way so they aren't just another "dick pic" 😀

Gags - Never Tried One Until Now

So I've never really experimented with gags as much I'd like. Not sure why but I suspect it's something that never really came up with my partner at the time or the small number of play partners.

Yes there are lots of images out there of the gagged person drooling but that's just a natural thing when you mouth produces excess saliva to stop it drying out. But it's not that part that fuels my imagination, it's the eyes and the element of control that gets me.

I find gags intriguing and when I have a partner I'd like to experiment but not just with the standard gags but also improvised ones. Anything from a simple silk sash to a pair of panties would be ideal. My preference would be for panties that have been wet from either squirting or wetting from watersports, yes I'm that kinky.

Sometimes though you need to try something for yourself to understand the thrill fully so that's exactly what I did. I'd had this gag sat around for a while now not being used just waiting for the right time. So I dug it out and stepped outside my comfort zone not sure what to expect.

Adrenaline pumping I strapped the gag around my head as I placed the ball in my mouth. Initial panic was more a "hope I don't get interrupted" than anything else. As I adjusted to the sensation I realised that I was enjoying a slight thrill at something new. I also realised that I'd do it again and would definitely try it with a partner if I find one again. I ended up wearing it for 15 minutes which I'm proud of for a first attempt.

Overall it felt good to step outside my comfort zone and experiment with something new. I will continue to do this from now on to better myself and get out of the hole I've put myself in.

A big thank you to those I've chatted with this week on twitter who've been understanding and encouraging.