February Photofest Day 18 - No Filter Friday

One of the unfiltered pics I took back in the summer. The final one of these pics was used for the colour splash theme.

February Photofest 2022 - Day 17 Thigh Knee Happy People

Yes it's a pun on words but it's most apt at the moment. I'm in good spirits at the moment so I'm keeping the smiles going as best I can.

February Photofest 2022 - Day 16 Another Hump Day

It's middle of the week and I've made it this far without getting the hump, so here's mine instead.

Light In The Dark

Sometimes you cannot see the light because you're more concerned about the dark. I have recently learnt that you have to look for the light as it's the thing that guides you, sometimes the light has to be pointed out to you.

 

Be My Valen(tie)n

After the events of the past few days I was wondering if I would feel up to putting together a Valentines pic for February Photofest. I couldn't think of a pic to take as my thoughts were elsewhere and probably still are. However I know that to be true to myself and my new found confidence I had to try. This image is actually inspired by something I've recently started looking into and would love to explore more. I will happily be the rigger or the subject being roped but to fully appreciate it there would have to be a connection as it could only be done when both of us are trusting enough.

 

Everything Is Just Peachy

Life is what you make it and you just have to go with whatever it throws at you. It's safe to say that mine is a roller coaster ride of emotions so far and this weekend has been no exception. I just have to keep on smiling and take everything positive and grow myself on that. I refuse to go back to the way I've been even with setbacks.

Love Is Complicated

Can't you just take me and love me the way that I am?

Some things don't matter

It's all just part of a plan

Don't turn away from what's real

Don't turn away from the love you feel

We keep falling, in and out of love

Femme Fatale - Falling In and Out of Love - 1988

At the start of this year everything changed for the better. I discovered that the very first line of the lyrics above can be true and it's this discovery that fills me with hope.

It's been a bumpy start to my return to love, sex and romance and I'm sure it will continue to be but that's what life is about. From two first kisses within a few days of each other I found my confidence increasing. The first was from a budding relationship that started late October and only our third date. It sealed a friendship which I will maintain but it also set in action a lot of soul searching from both sides which has made us choose a casual non-committed relationship until such time as we find ourselves dating other people. The only real change is that I will be looking again where I hadn't been as we hadn't got past the friend stage, but now there's no pressure on either party and no guilty feelings for chatting to other people.

The reasoning behind this choice is simple, despite liking each other a lot, things being really good when were together and easily falling into a committed relationship we both need slightly different things. She has only ever been in one relationship and a couple of brief encounters before spending time with me. By her own admission she wants to be selfish and experience a bit more before settling for one person again, and I completely understand this. She doesn't want to hurt me or for me to wait around while she tries dating and freely admits that she could be making a mistake by letting me go. In return I have promised to use the confidence I've gained to continue dating to try and find someone who wants the kind of relationship I'm looking for. The majority of this was discussed before we went out for the evening, where we walked around holding hands, cuddled and kissed.

The second kiss was from a friend I'd been chatting with for a few years. It was long overdue and triggered feelings we'd put off for far too long. Unfortunately like everything else the timing that fate had provided was out and had other ideas.

So yes I've found 2 people I could love with all my heart if fate hadn't intervened and had other ideas. Yes they'll feature in my life as long they want as friendships are always the starting point. Going forward I know that I can be loved for who I am without having to change to fit into an ideal. Where to start to find that person is harder but I will not give up but I will be patient.

February Photofest 2022 - Day 12 Messy Aftermath

 I had planned to take a new pic today along with some for the next two weeks. However as always things didn't quite go the way I'd planned. My life has been a roller coaster ride so far this year and this weekend has proven to be a continuation of that and distracting me. I have a challenging time ahead of me and I will embrace that challenge with the new confidence I have. I want my life to be simple but I know that's not possible, but I do not want it to become as messy as me in my offering for February Photofest.

February Photofest 2022 - Day 11 No Fear or Filter Friday

So Friday comes around again and it's time for another pic without filters. This was taken back in July when I was working on trying a variety of different perspectives. Initially I chose one of the other versions of this shot in black and white.

Since the pic was taken I've learnt to appreciate all my pics as people see them differently to me. My initial idea still hasn't been used because I need an additional pair of hands to help me but maybe one day I'll be lucky enough to see my vision come true.

February Photofest 2022 - Day 10 The Thighs The Limit

 So far this year has been a roller coaster ride for me  and I’m still trying to get the balance right. This past week I’ve learnt to keep myself in check and not put undue pressure on myself or my relationship, but also I can ask when I can see her next without feeling guilty for asking now the busy chaotic period is over. Still not at the boyfriend/lover stage yet but I’m working on it. There’s  something about this lady that is keeping me hooked, other than the fact she has not run away screaming from my openness. 

I also realised that I’ve become more confident when in a conversation with my future boss I actually said how much of a pay increase I expected in my new role. Turns out that I was not far off what they were trying to negotiate.

Next week starts the return of a yearly emotional roller coaster ride that started in 1999. This year I have new and old friends in my life to help me through and a whole new outlook on life.

February Photofest 2022 - Day 9 Cheeky

Midweek is normally a struggle. For a start it’s bin day which means ensuring the rubbish is put out early, I could put it out the night before but the foxes make a real mess given a chance. The chaos of the start of the week is tempered by the impending rush of requests and queries the latter half of the week brings.

However today is different. I changed my routine and did the washing up before I went to bed. After putting the bins out I prepared the slow cooker meal which is based on a sausage casserole but using pork loin chops instead. This subtle change made me feel good. It allowed me the time I needed to get in a quick pic instead of using an older previously unused one.

February Photofest 2022 - Day 8

So back in the summer I took some shots for a post titled Vulnerable - Still. It was a revisit of a post I originally did back in 2019. I'm happy with the pic I used at the time but I felt that February Photofest is an ideal opportunity to show the one I discarded as I was experimenting at the time with remote control of the camera via a phone app. The result although not perfect successfully conveys how I felt at the time despite my face looking at the phone.

Photography and my on/off love of it

I have an on/off love affair with my photography. Over the years I've worked hard to improve my skills from my humble offerings with a standard point and click camera to my present day DSLR. Sometimes I've wanted to take pictures and other times not. I have grand ideas but struggle to get some of them done due to circumstance, normally me being single and having nobody to participate in the idea for me means I tend to put them to one side and never revisit them. My favourite things to photograph over the years have been wildlife (predominantly dragonflies and damselflies) or people (general portrait type pics through to more risqué adult pics). The subject I find hardest to photograph is myself which will seem strange to anyone reading my blog.

I share them where I feel most appropriate. The wildlife and general normal pics end up on Facebook, Twitter, Flickr or Fetlife and Purpleport (when I remember) and occasionally my blog. The more adult pics have invariably ended up on Twitter, Flickr and here on the blog. On here I can experiment and express myself in ways that are outside the mainstream and not be judged for it.

Some of the key things I've learnt over the years are the following:

1) Never be afraid to ask for advice or an opinion. Both of these make you a better photographer.

2) Never delete pics unless you really feel they cannot be edit in anyway to improve them. Initial thoughts on a rejected pic change over time and what you thought was a poor pic could be something special with the right adjustments and filters applied.

3) If you do courses to improve your skills either do a one day course or one with no time restraint. The one day courses are good for introductory skills and basics. I'm currently taking an online course which I started back in 2015 but haven't ventured onto much in the past 3 years despite having had plenty of opportunity.

Over the years when I've photographed models there has always been consent forms completed by all parties involved. As the majority of my photos now are of me I tend to not worry so much. I'm old enough to know my stuff will inevitably end up elsewhere and quite frankly if they are that desperate for a male over 50 then I'm actually quite flattered.

There are a few pics dotted around my blog that I'm really proud of because of the general reaction to them, especially when I wasn't sure they were good pics. There is a couple of pics from model photoshoots on separate page which I'm proud of and hunting around for a pic to tie in with both Five Things and February Photofest I had to go back to my first studio photoshoot. It was hard to pick as I realise now I wasn't that bad at the time. This one stands out the most though as it's a simple crop and I'd happily have it placed on a canvas to adorn a wall in my house.

MMM Come Get Messy With Me

When the prompt for this Sinful Sunday appeared I chuckled to myself as I could just post any pic of me and I'd be ok as my real first name begins with M. As I'd already done a motion blur pic for a previous prompt I could have tried that combined with masturbation, I considered doing a milking pic but had no one to help with that. Eventually I made my choice and after a bit of shopping I sat in a cold empty bath tub (old enamelled iron baths do not warm up easily) and proceeded to get messy 😁

February Photofest 2022 Day 5 - Saturday Morning Tea

Saturday mornings are a time to reflect on the week just gone and the weekend ahead. Sometimes my thoughts run wild and I need to tame them, this morning is one of those days. Possibly overthinking things as I’m prone to do at the moment while I continue to try to find balance.

February Photofest 2022 - Day 4 No Filter Friday

It's my first February Photofest and the first Friday. As Friday seems to be a no filter day I felt an unedited, unfiltered and unseen photo was appropriate. This was one of the pics I took for Kink of the Week prompt Gags, my final pic had a lot of editing but I feel that this one does not need any as my fear of using a gag for the first time is quite evident.

February Photofest 2022 - Day 3 Thighs Day

 I love a nice relaxing bath as much as I love a shower. It helps soothe the aches and allows me to just relax. Unfortunately my bath at present isn’t as nice as I’d like due to being an old iron bath with chips and scratches in the ceramic coating. To be fair my bathroom needs updating and I plan to get this done soon.

February Photofest 2022 Day 2 - Hump Day

It’s hump day and I’m in good spirits. Yes I’m struggling to get my world into a balance I’m happy with, not easy when you want to spend time with someone who has things already booked. I won’t let that deter me or assuring the person I’m ok with it, hey it’s only 4 weeks on Friday that my double roller coaster journey started and I would never expect someone to drop all their plans for me or even add me into them at such an early stage.

February Photofest 2022 Day 1 - Fiery by nature

I have a fire in my heart and soul because I’m a naturally fiery person.