February Photofest 2022 Day 5 - Saturday Morning Tea

Saturday mornings are a time to reflect on the week just gone and the weekend ahead. Sometimes my thoughts run wild and I need to tame them, this morning is one of those days. Possibly overthinking things as I’m prone to do at the moment while I continue to try to find balance.

February Photofest 2022 - Day 4 No Filter Friday

It's my first February Photofest and the first Friday. As Friday seems to be a no filter day I felt an unedited, unfiltered and unseen photo was appropriate. This was one of the pics I took for Kink of the Week prompt Gags, my final pic had a lot of editing but I feel that this one does not need any as my fear of using a gag for the first time is quite evident.

February Photofest 2022 - Day 3 Thighs Day

 I love a nice relaxing bath as much as I love a shower. It helps soothe the aches and allows me to just relax. Unfortunately my bath at present isn’t as nice as I’d like due to being an old iron bath with chips and scratches in the ceramic coating. To be fair my bathroom needs updating and I plan to get this done soon.

February Photofest 2022 Day 2 - Hump Day

It’s hump day and I’m in good spirits. Yes I’m struggling to get my world into a balance I’m happy with, not easy when you want to spend time with someone who has things already booked. I won’t let that deter me or assuring the person I’m ok with it, hey it’s only 4 weeks on Friday that my double roller coaster journey started and I would never expect someone to drop all their plans for me or even add me into them at such an early stage.

February Photofest 2022 Day 1 - Fiery by nature

I have a fire in my heart and soul because I’m a naturally fiery person.

January where are you leading me?

The last Sunday in January and I was struggling to think of a pic for Sinful Sunday, then the prompt appeared for Five Things - January The Longest Month and I finally had a hook.

January is normally a slow month with year end bits at work, updating bits for the upcoming year and a birthday near the end of the month. Generally an easy month pulling out of the post holiday slump. This year fate had other ideas and decided I should be on a roller coaster ride from the onset.

An easy start for the first couple of days and then the roller coaster ride began on the Friday. Late in the afternoon I received an unexpected teams call from my manager. She was letting me know that she had handed in her retirement notice, this was not totally unexpected as the past couple of years have been difficult and the frequency of her frustrations had been increasing. During the ensuing discussion I received a message on Bumble inviting me out for a drink from a lady I'd been chatting with since November. Despite only having been on 2 dates I knew I liked her and wanted to see how things progressed, so I confirmed back that I'd love to and we arranged the date.

After the weekend I was on 2 roller coaster rides. The first is a ride using my experience already gained in my job to continue what I love and take over as much as I can handle from my manager. She's prepared me for this over the almost 10 years I've worked with her in our 2 person team. It's daunting and I have my doubts at times but I know I can only do my best.

The second roller coaster is the one that scares me the most. Since the Friday I have been on several dates with the lady and we are still keeping things casual while we decide where we want to take things. I'm happy with this arrangement for the moment but I'm struggling with my emotions. Due to prior arranged family and friend events I've hardly seen her during the past 2 weekends other than a brief evening  on the Friday a week ago. I want to see her more but I don't want to pressure her into anything. I'm scared I'll either come over as too pushy and over eager, only interested in one thing or not interested enough. I know that I'm doing everything right but it's a struggle when I know I like her a lot more than I can actually tell her at the moment.

So yes January has been an incredibly long and very testing month. I don't want to get off the ride but I would like to know where it's leading me.

Celebrations - Past, Present and Future

When I saw the prompt I wasn't sure I'd be able to put something down in writing as I wasn't sure what to write. The past few years I've struggled to celebrate special occasions, mainly due to lockdowns, isolations and the general mood of the past 2 years. Over the years I've had some memorable celebrations so I thought I'd list them or at least what I remember.

18th Birthday 1988

So as birthday parties go this is definitely up there as a memorable one. I thought the planning was meticulous for my 18th birthday, arrangement had been made through friends to have the party at one of their houses. Little did I know that I was being deceived and the real party was being planned under my nose by my friends and my parents. I was delivered to a friends house on the day of the party unaware that I would then be driven back to my own house later in the day for the real party. The party itself was a standard teenage hormone fuelled affair with drinking and loud music. Memorable because the shy bumbling me lost my virginity.

21st Birthday 1991

Drunken games of pool, pizza and a possibility I ran along Southend Seafront wearing nothing but a sock. Memorable because I don't actually remember it clearly.

Wedding Day June 1996

The celebration actually began the day before when I spent part of the evening with some work colleagues in The Blind Beggar pub in Whitechapel. Little did I know the significance until the next evening.

The wedding day began with a shaky start as nervousness kicked in I failed to keep food down. The ceremony itself went without a hitch and the wedding lunch went ok, even if I didn't eat much of it. Come the evening and the reception went off without a hitch and I managed to eat something before our first dance so I didn't feint. Leaving the reception we were driven to our hotel and began our married life together. Memorable because I spent the rest of that night pulling bobby pins and gypsophila from my wifes hair whilst watching The Krays on TV (this is the link to the evening before as it was a pub they frequented). Memorable because my first time on a plane was flying to my honeymoon in Jersey the next day.

February 1999

The short lived celebration of the birth of my second child. A birth is a celebration of life but when a child is born with multiple congenital abnormalities it becomes a fraught time for the parents. Looking back I realise that the odds were greatly against us from the start and we were living on hope. This may sound heartless but I know that had he survived it would not have been an easy life or any life at all with the abnormalities. I still celebrate the birthday each year but with tears instead of joy.

30th Birthday 2000

Last big gathering of friends/family before people moved away, split, splintered etc. Memorable because it was old friends, new friends and family all together.

40th Birthdays 2010

Not many people can say they had an orgy for their birthday but that's what happened to me. We were at the swingers club we went to regularly and I was made to sit in a chair in the middle of the bar area and received several lap dances from a couple of the ladies. We then joined 5 other couples in one of the rooms for a very memorable evening of carnal pleasure.

Since then the celebrations have been low key due to various reasons. The most recent major celebration was my daughters 18th birthday in January 2020 where I spent most of the day cooking food for the buffet. A busy day followed by a fun evening. Sadly the only other major birthday that year, my 50th was a quiet subdued affair due to being in lockdown and also being on furlough. To date I've still yet to celebrate it properly and not entirely sure if I will.

I'm not sure what future celebrations will be as my life is very much in flux at the moment. I would like to be able to celebrate the birthday of my new lady friend but as I write this it's only been 3 weeks since we changed the direction of our relationship. This will be the first weekend I've not seen her for at least a few hours due to family functions, but I'm hoping to see her on her birthday to deliver her card. Her present will be delivered to her directly during the day.