There are times in my life when I can’t see something even when it’s staring at me yelling “I’m here”. This happened to me recently and I was so oblivious to it I could have ruined something very special. Thankfully fate intervened, made me see sense, give in to my heart and now I’m less stressed and happier than I have been for a long time.
Almost 3 years ago I set something in motion that was to change my life when I needed it most. A simple act of saying thank you and complimenting a smile lead to conversation and more.
The conversation was fairly general at first and just a getting to know you chat. Eventually we started to get more personal in our chats and got to know more about each other. Through this chat we built up a friendship and gained a good personal insight about each other. There was minor flirting and hints of teasing, but I held back as I felt certain things would make any attempt at dating very hard. In hindsight I was being foolish and afraid to take a chance.
As time went on we grew closer, more open with our chats and confided in each other more. We continued to chat daily even when she was in a relationship. It was during these times when she would ask for advice and I would answer truthfully, adding the occasional comment about how I’d look after her when she was having a bad time.
At the start of 2021 we’d started changing our relationship. In February I started calling her baby girl and she called me daddy. A simple term with much affection that lead the way to trying a simple long distance Dom/sub dynamic, but more like Dd/lg. However, the attempts at creating doable tasks and punishments proved to be harder than either of us expected, so we soon dropped back to a more comfortable situation.
At the start of August I began planning my first holiday on my own. I wanted to experience a holiday without family tagging along. Without hesitation I looked up places to stay where we could meet in person for the first time, and after checking her work schedule I settled on somewhere nearby. The start of the holiday arrived, and I began the fun journey along the M25 and M1 to Nottingham to meet a long time Twitter friend. After coffee and walking about for a few hours I headed off to my hotel, which would be home for the next few nights.
After settling in to my hotel room for a few hours I received two calls. The first was from my son letting me know one of our cats was unwell and had been taken to the local PDSA. The second call was from my friend asking if I could meet her that night to help her out. She told me she’d fallen over in the rain earlier and suspected she’d broken her wrist. I didn’t hesitate to help out and drove to her after grabbing some food at the McDonald’s nearby.
The next hour was spent at the urgent care unit, only to discover that they couldn’t do an x-ray until the next morning. I spent the rest of the evening making sure she was comfortable whilst we watched tv together. Sometime around eleven I received another call about my cat, finding out just how ill she was and having to make the decision to have her put to sleep. Suddenly I went from supporting to needing support, which I received in the form of a big hug.
The next morning we headed back to the urgent care unit. As expected, all I could do was wait in the car while they did the assessment, the x-ray and finally putting the temporary cast on. This whole process took several hours, so once it was done we headed off for coffee and food as we were both hungry. That evening we settled down to watch films and relax with a takeaway. As much as I wanted to kiss her, I was more concerned about making sure she was comfortable. Although I would have liked to stay the night I left later and agreed to pick her up for her work shift the next day.
In the morning I picked her up and took her into work. I spent the next few hours walking around the town, footpaths and local parks. Eventually it was time for lunch, so I headed over to see how she was coping. As I entered the coffee shop I could instantly see the frustration and dismay. There she was, struggling to put cakes on display with only one usable hand. My heart skipped and I just wanted to be the other side of the counter helping. Grabbing a coffee and something to eat, I sat myself down and just watched what was going on around me. Her colleague came past clearing tables, and I commented on how frustrating it was seeing her struggle due to the insistence of a manager that she come into work. The colleague agreed and continued about their work. Eventually the frustrating shift was finally cut short by an understanding supervisor. We headed off to get some bits, then settled in for another evening of movies and comfort. This was the last evening she would need me as her parents were due back the next day. We sat watching the movies holding hands and trying to ensure she was comfortable.
The rest of my holiday went by and I headed home on the Friday. At some point after I returned home, the couple of days we had together were discussed because I had not made any advances on her. Maybe the chemistry wasn’t there and we were destined to just be supportive friends. I tried to reassure her that I had gone into caregiver mode and liked her a lot. In reality I liked her a lot more than I could admit and was still using some poor excuses as to why we shouldn’t try a relationship.
Over the next few months we continued our daily chats. Our friendship was still important but I felt I’d missed my chance by my inaction when we met. Both of us started to date other people and even asked each other for advice. At the start of 2022 everything changed over the course of a few days, and this change along with subsequent events would lead to where we are today.
The first weekend of January, and the following Monday hit me with an unexpected emotional overflow. The catalyst to this was my boss announcing her retirement to me at 4 o’clock on the Friday. This was rapidly followed by an invite for drinks from the lady I’d been chatting with via a dating app and had met only twice before since the start of November. The final event occurred on the Monday afternoon when my friend came to see me on the way to her latest date. She’d broken my excuse about distance as he was only around 30 miles away from me. When she arrived I took some time away from my home office to sit with her. After a bit of chatting we kissed, rather passionately for “just friends”, and this led to a bit of fooling around with each other before she had to leave. In that short period of time something had changed for the better, but still fighting it with excuses, I would not act on it for 5 weeks.
Over the next month we both continued to ask each other for dating advice. I freely admit to being a complete mess, coping with the expectations of work and stressing out about dating. The only calm in my life was my friend. She helped me choose a birthday card, presents and a valentines card for my date, even finding time to send me one herself. I should have realised just how special she was to do all this for me.
Around valentines my date decided she wasn’t ready for a full relationship, and just wanted something casual. So there I was back to looking through the apps for a date. 5 days later everything changed for the better. My friend was having a bad day at work and asked if she could see me after. I immediately said my door was always open. However, this was not the usual popping round for a chat as she was working over 2 hours away.
Eventually she made it to mine after an arduous journey, which took twice as long due to traffic. I welcomed her in with open arms, a hug and a kiss. She sat down on the sofa and I left her chatting with my son whilst I made drinks and sorted out dinner. The evening progressed, we ate, chatted and cuddled up watching various bits on tv. Later we headed to bed, and as we lay there cuddling together I finally realised that all my excuses for not having a proper relationship had gone. Distance, family and age gap were no longer an issue, she was here with me and everything had changed. I couldn’t let things go back to the way they were. I had to take a chance and see where this relationship would go, realising that I had fallen in love.
As I write this we are heading to 4 months living together. It’s taken me over a month to write because I’ve been busy and struggled to put it all to words. We’ve gone from daily good morning and good night messages, to saying it to face to face, along with a kiss and a smile. All my friends who’ve met her see the change in me and just how good we are together. It’s not always been easy, but we rise up to each challenge and work through the issues together. We encourage and support each other as best we can.
